Ecclesiastes 3: 1, 3b
“There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under the heavens:
…a time to tear down and a time to build…”
As I have settled into life after my trip to Peru, I have been struck with the choices I have set before me. The people I saw day to day in the brickyard did not have these same choices. Their choices were limited by their place of birth and the work they did. They had chances to make life better but they were not as many as the choices I have before me. Sometimes the choices can be overwhelming. I definitely can attest to that in my life. But even in the overwhelming, choices have to be made… will they be for the good and Godly or against what I hold dear and know to believe in my heart, mind, soul and spirit.
Ecclesiastes 3 lists the different parts of life and how there is a time for everything we do. As I read through the list, it seems like some of them should be unnecessary and even harmful but yet, there there are in the list. The list in this passage shows a certain rhythm to life, no matter how odd, and a certain balance and timing to life must be struck. God, as the Keeper of all things, holds the key to how life with Him should look. The people of Peru read this same Scripture, most likely in another language, and what do they think? Do they wonder when there is a true time to build? Do they know more tearing down than building? They make bricks to build with but do they get the true joy of being part of the process of building. I don’t know entirely. I hope and I pray they do, but I am not sure.
And as I bring this Scripture closer to home, I know that there has not always been balance and rhythm in my life even though I have a multitude of ways to choose. My soul has not always known the building up process but sometimes only the tearing down. I can’t even blame other people for this entirely. I learned the process well of analyzing and dissecting and tearing things apart. The problem is that I never really learned the formula to build. Or let me say that differently, I tended to leave the building on the back burner because it was too hard or I didn’t feel adequate or I didn’t have the tools. My training in psychology taught me how to diagnose the problem but the problem with psychology is that it didn’t truly have the resources available to teach a person to truly build up the way a person needs to be built up… the process of being known for everything, good and bad, but still loved intimately and forgiven grandly by the Creator and Savior Himself, God Himself, Jesus Christ.
So as I looked at that void in my life, not truly understanding how to build, I knew there was a couple things I had to leave behind. I have to leave behind my need to understand in order to go forward in the future. I have to learn not to lean on my own understanding so much so I can trust the Lord to build what He needs in my life and what I so desperately long for… peace, love, joy, His kingdom alive in my heart, family and community.
This takes me to this point. The end of this blog. I looked back on so many of my writings that express so much of my heart. Some good, some not so good but they expressed all of me… except the part where I need to be now. I need to be at a place of building and not looking back. To do that, I end this blog to symbolize that. I might start another blog someday, even tomorrow, but for now, this is my last entry here. Tomorrow, I seek to find the hope of building, brick on brick, the future for myself and my family that the Lord wills and desires and the legacy He seeks to build through me and my husband. I am excited and clueless and trusting all at the same time. I have materials to build in my hands. Now, I just have to learn more of how to build and how to trust the Lord more to build what He wants. This is the end of Ruminating but the beginning of a new thing. There is a time for everything, and the time to build is now. Thank you to each of you who read my blogs. I love you dearly and pray blessings for you!